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| Everything is OK. Image: intralove.com |
More than one month… Yes, it’s been so long since I’ve been
here. I don’t feel good with the many misses I’ve had in blogging, but it’s
just that the two months of absence have been turning points in my life… but
yes, I’m alive and think I’m doing OK.
My grandfather died... and I'm OK
My grandfather, the man who has been my de facto father, the
man who raised me, who cared for me since I was two, and the man who I have
been caring for for so long has died. Yes. Died. Dead. He did not just pass
away or went to heaven. He died. Some people don’t want to say it that
blatantly, but I guess, part of moving on is to accept the reality. I have long
expected for this to happen and, really, no matter how prepared you are for it,
you still get to feel that emptiness, that sadness, that feeling inside that
you can’t express. I did not cry. While my family sees it a source of strength,
I did not find it good, though. In fact, after his interment, I’ve been sick
and really struggled with that unexplainable feeling. But my prayers helped me.
I’m OK now. Granpa, I believe, is also OK now.
I’m working on my thesis
I just had my pre-oral defense last March 1, and while minor
revisions were suggested, thank God my proposal was accepted. I’m now ready for
data-gathering, which is where the real work, stress (I hope not!), and
early-morning research kick in. I know I’m gonna make this through. I know I’m
going to be terribly OK.
I’m busy at work
We all are and I am not exempted from it. My work as a
library staff and instructor is eating up a lot of my time. The university
where I’m working is gearing up for accreditation and because I’m in charge of
the library, I have a lot of tasks to accomplish. This is kinda a baptism of
fire for me. A test of my ability. This is my first-time to face accreditation
and I don’t know if I can do this excellently, but I’m crossing my fingers and
hope that I’ll be OK.
I’m trying to keep my
online business going
Since I accepted my day jobs at
school, my online business has suffered and I admit my income has really plummeted
since then. I’m actually struggling financially and struggling to keep it
alive. I’ve been really intending to keep things on the balance, but I can’t
and since late last year, my online revenue dropped exponentially. Yes, it’s
not good, but what can I do? I only have one body and I usually feel tired at
the end of the day, which does not leave me with enough time or energy to
devote for my online business. I hope to find ways for this and I really hope I
could turn things around, perhaps give my business enough room for at least
minimal growth this year. I can only hope for the better.
I’m still figuring out
what to do with the rest of my life
Here we go again… but thoughts of going abroad has been
lurking my mind. But there also comes a time when I get back to my sane state
and I’ll realize I’d want to stay after all. But I haven’t really decided 100
percent. And, so, I’ll just keep on doing what I have to do. Do something
productive for my online business. Write my thesis and finish my master’s
degree. Do something innovative in the library and in my class. I’ve got these
endeavors to fill up my time. And at the end of the day, I’ll still feel OK.
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